As discussed (a long time ago now) on my Consciousness page, the phenomenon of consciousness stands out as being entirely unexplained by the current paradigm in science. Yes, we can say that certain experiences correlate to certain brain states: this bunch of neurons firing happens at the same time as the user of that brain reports some repeatable experience. But no, we have no theory whatsoever as to how anything material (such as electrical signals, molecules bouncing, chemical reactions, information processing, space warping), can be experienced, at all.

Think about it: why should a bunch of molecules and electrons moving about or computing in your brain feel something? This is what is known as the 'hard problem' of consciousness. The easy problem is to show that experiences correlate with brain states. The hard problem is to show why.

Peter Russell doesn't know why, either. However, he points out that given the current paradigm of science doesn't have even the slightest handle on consciousness, something may be wrong with that paradigm. Science as currently understood regards matter, time and more especially energy and space (including multiple dimensions and so on), as the fundamental building blocks from which the Universe appears to be made. What if this is wrong? He suggests instead the consciousness itself is the fundamental ground of reality.

This is not as crackers as it might sound at first, as he explains in his lecture, and respectable philosophers such as David Chalmers have made similar suggestions (in his case, that information might be fundamental). If one's current assumptions don't work, and in this case they clearly don't, then they need to be reconsidered.

Peter Russell, The Primacy of Consciousness [70m]

What I half-said in the previous post (the one about Reverend Billy), about how I think many shopaholics could be lacking in self-esteem, applies in other areas too. Take for example, this blog post about how a homeless former drug addict is healing himself through running. In truth, I think we as a society greatly underestimate the importance of self-esteem, or its lack. Frankly, I think a very sizeable portion of the population could do with more… it’s one of those 80-20 things, I think. Defensive ego? Lack of self-esteem.

These cartoons can help put this self-esteem thing into perspective. The other cartoons on that site are good too.

And… if you’re concerned about those new airport scanners letting staff ogle your privates, perhaps you need these special hand-clasp radiation-resistant panties to protect your privacy.

Finally, here is what to believe.

The Reverend Billy is a self-styled evangelistic priest who is a bit of a comedian, but with a serious message. As Christmas approaches, he asks us to avoid the “Shopocalypse": we are shopping too much, and too irresponsibly.

Remember, the environment is being destroyed by destructive capitalism - by built-in obsolescence - by we, the consumers, buying junk we don’t really need. And people’s lives are being destroyed in what amounts to slave labour camps in countries like China, Sri Lanka, The Philipines and more, as children and teenagers work 19 hour days making this junk for pennies that are barely enough to live on even in their own countries.

Reverend Billy presents his message with songs and jokes, but he is so right.

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse!

The children were nestled,
All snug in their beds,
While ads for new doodads
Played out in their heads…

Let’s hear it for the Reverend Billy!

So: how does one shop sustainably? Well, the video explains it briefly, but it is worth repeating. Shop at small local shops getting locally produced items wherever possible, and avoid shopping at the big multi-nationals as much as is feasible, in part because they use sweatshop labour often, and in part because the money you spend there is not recycled through the local economy as much, and in part because they are driving local businesses out of the market altogether. You might think that driving uncompetitive business into bankruptcy is a good thing, but in reality it is not so simple. Firstly, it is being done by illegitimate means: a) the use of ultra-cheap sweatshop labour; b) with artificially low prices which will be raised once the competition is gone (the usual monopolist’s practice); and c) with mind-numbing brainwashing “lifestyle” advertising which is being insidiously infiltrated into our very culture so deeply that we pretty much fail to even recognize that we are being advertised to any more - but we are. Secondly, a diverse economy is a healthy economy. If the marketplace is dominated by just a few monolithic corporations, it is inherently less stable and more prone to crashes, and the government is more easily blackmailed by these vast, wealthy and amoral organizations.

Well, I don’t have the money to shop anyway, as it happens. And I have to buy cheaply. I’ve noticed that the local shops are in some cases much cheaper than the Tesco superstore, for example with eggs and milk. I’m not one for price-checking but I will start looking at one item every now and then (hence eggs first, then milk… I’ll go on like that). There is more diversity in the superstores, so I will certainly use them for the main grocery shopping, but not so much, it seems, for the everyday items.

As for luxury items; I can’t afford them anyway. And I’m not unhappy. Sure I want to be rich and so on… but shopping doesn’t make people happy, I believe. People think it will make them happy, but if it worked, they wouldn’t need to keep going back so often, I think. My suspicion is that it gives a quick thrill, which fades, and the shopper ends up just a little bit less happy than when they started once the thrill has worn off. They are less happy because they know a) they’ve wasted some money; b) they’ve bought some junk which didn’t live up to their expectations; c) they’re burdened with extra junk to dispose of or keep dragging around with them as they go through their lives; d) they don’t know what else to do to make themselves happy (live in the moment, try enlightenment, try spending less, try spending time with people and not things, try doing things that can make them feel proud of themselves or pleased with themselves, develop their self-esteem ).

In the meantime… there’s Reverend Billy’s website, or you could read about how a sustainable economy might work, or this 21-minute video about how our production system works - or doesn’t: The Story of Stuff.

Why do we put off doing things we know we have to do? Why not just do them and make life easier for ourselves? Well, I’ve puzzled over my own ‘laziness’ for years… but this video may have the answer: we are not nice enough to ourselves! Yes, it’s that naughty old voice in the head again, as discussed on my enlightenment page. I’ve used the method he speaks of to some extent to ameliorate my own resistance to doing things, but it appears a more concentrated approach would work better…

I’ve been interested to see that others take a similar view to myself as to what ‘enlightenment‘ is, and how to achieve it. [It is: living in the present moment, just as you are, with no need to try to be other than what you are; you achieve it primarily by silencing the inner voice so you can just BE.]

Philosopher Alan Watts describes enlightenment nicely in this hour long video, and provides some examples for you to try, so you can begin to experience just being for yourself. The video is very old, but hey, Zen is much older…

I guess we all know something of the cruel way that animals are treated by people, because we need them for food, clothing and so on. But that ‘because’ is perhaps a mistake. Maybe we need them for these things (I eat meat, use animal products, etc.,), but do they really have to be treated so badly? The video below is perhaps one of the most depressing, horrific videos ever made, but it is also based firmly in reality. Prepare to feel guilty… Oh - and I should probably warn you it includes lots of images of animals being maltreated (putting it mildly). So if you think you can prepare yourself for the sights of kittens being tortured, foxes being skinned alive and so on, then get ready and press that play button.

On my enlightenment page I talk about how to achieve that state. This lecture (1h 40m long) discusses it from the point of view of the way the brain works and I think it provides further insight into the process, and how to achieve it.

Enlightenment, Self and The Brain by Todd Murphy:

Yes, it’s get-rich-quick time again. I have been looking at the so-called “Secret Law of Attraction” as pushed on the Internet in books, programmes and videos, and thinking to myself… Hmm… it is a sales pitch. Here is an example:

You see, on the one hand, the authors have a point - the idea of it is true as far as it goes, I believe: that you attract to you what you think about, so think rich, think happy, etc., and you will become rich, happy, etc. But my problem with it is that they are mystifying the subject rather than clarifying it, in my opinion, to get you to purchase products from them - that is, to attract money from you to them.

I think it can be explained more clearly and will write a little about it today. But first… a word of warning. I am not rich yet. At least, not in Western terms. OK, I have a roof over my head, a nice bed, food in the ‘fridge, clothes in the cupboard, and so on, so that makes me one of the richest 20% or so of the people in the world. But as a Westerner, seeing all those TV programmes and movies showing much better lifestyles than mine in material terms, I do not feel materially rich yet. Besides, I still have plenty of debts to pay off. If I measure my net worth the way accountants do, it is negative - so actually a person starving in the Third World somewhere with a net worth of about one penny is technically better off than me, financially - but that just shows what can be done with statistics! :-)

Anyway, in short, I am not rich in my terms: no country mansion, lots of travel, life of leisure, etc. So, who am I to suggest the so-called Secret Law of Attraction could be explained better if I haven’t made it work for myself yet?

Well, I think I am making it work, but it is something that is taking time. The “Secret” is plain and simple. Implementing it is hard. It is hard because you have to work on yourself. But first, a little about this mystification of the idea that I mentioned earlier.

In a way, the problem is with the name. Firstly, it is no secret. These ideas have been around for literally centuries. There have always been successful people who have figured it out for themselves, or who have had fortunate upbringings, or who simply, naturally, think the right way, and who have the energy and courage to take action to get things done. If you want a non-sales version of the secret, try getting a book on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy from your local bookshop (for example, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies is very good).

Secondly, by using a passive word like “attraction” these authors are making it look like you just have to sit there and riches will fall in your lap. This is a mouth-watering proposition to the get-rich-quickers like me who, in reality, don’t really want to actually do anything much to make their fortunes. These hucksters make it look like they can explain how you can become some kind of natural magnet for wealth (or whatever it is you are after). But they don’t explain it, as far as I can tell, anyway. They talk all around it, make it sound good, then sell you product after product (because the previous one hasn’t worked yet, you buy another, then another - like diet plans: it is the same marketing idea to sell you plan after plan, tip after tip - this one really works! Except it doesn’t because you have to do something).

All right. Let’s get to the point. What is the “Secret"? It is this: the way you think about things, about life in general, affects how life turns out for you. There is nothing mysterious in this. If you think miserable thoughts, if you feel inferior, if you are afraid to put yourself out there and meet people, then how are you going to get anything much done? How can you make your life better when you cut yourself off from your own enthusiasm and energy (by thinking badly of yourself) and from other people who could help you? If someone speaks to you, maybe they say, “Hi, that’s a nice pair of shoes!” you could take that as a compliment or as an implied insult. It is up to you. What they actually mean matters much less than what you think of it. So, the point is, getting your thinking in order is the difficult part. Your inner thoughts can very easily sabotage your plans in so many ways and at the same time you can be completely unaware that it is happening. Get a Cognitive Behavoural Therapy book and see how to sort your thinking out. Take control of your own verbal mind (you could also look at my enlightenment page for much more on this general idea and a selection of books that could help you). Only by sorting out your own thinking can you get anywhere. To see how not to think about life, well, just watch East Enders or any other soap opera. They are full of characters ruining their lives through bad thinking skills: people driven by greed, fear, and the convenience of the moment.

Then, having got your thinking straight… you need to do what Tony Robbins always advises: take action. Yes, you have to get out of your comfort zone and do something. You have to meet people. You have to start a business or whatever. You have to find something you like to do and do it. You also have to be realistic and start from where you are: little baby steps are best because trying to do too much before you are ready can undermine your confidence. But do get things moving, within the limits of how far you are capable at the time. And don’t punish yourself for being less than perfect or for being incompetent. That is human nature. What is good is that we can achieve things despite our general uselessness. In fact, that is what is great about us. As the Buddhists say, we are perfect in our imperfection. That is, like a dog or a cat or a child, none of which can do anything particularly useful except be a perfect dog, cat or child respectively, we, as adults are also perfect adult humans. Accept that as applied to yourself, and you have understood Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and you are on your way.

I am nearly up to 40% of the projected word total in my Katherine of Alexandria book now! It has crept up on me without my noticing. I have noticed, however, a slight change in my method of writing. On those days when my brain is a little less inclined to create new stuff, I instead revise the last section or so that I wrote. Revision is always necessary anyway, so the project moves forwards either way.

Maybe if I went to http://www.smart-kit.com/ more often, my enhanced brain would go even faster! The site has puzzles and potted summaries of interesting research such as that learning to play a musical instrument makes you more intelligent, and being obese makes you less intelligent - according to some studies anyway. It is always worth pointing out, though, I think, that ’studies’ are never totally fool-proof. It is necessary always to use common-sense when evaluating the results quoted. Often, the quotes are simply wrong, or the study itself was misconceived or badly executed, or, commonly, involves far too few subjects for the results to be considered reliable. Still, the ideas cannot be simply dismissed either…

Well, nothing in particular to write about today, really… except whatever I’ve been thinking about over the last couple of days I suppose. Firstly, I saw some photos of fantastic snow and ice sculptures in china at the Harbin Snow & Ice Festival, taken by R Todd King (the link is to his web site).

Secondly - blogging… I suppose if anybody was actually reading this blog, I might be tempted to think about it more! Darned if I can find it anywhere on the Internet and I know it’s here! But anyway, I have been looking at The Cluetrain Manifesto
which you can read online for free or purchase in book form from Amazon or elsewhere:

It is about how companies should stop trying to huckster their customers and prospects and start having real life conversations with them - using blogs. It explains why it will work, too, of course. Basically, human beings expect to be spoken with as human beings - not with sterile corporate-speak. Well, it sounds sensible to me. Companies who feel that their staff are too stupid to speak freely for them, I suppose, must think those same staff are too stupid to hold a normal conversation in their non-working lives too… And I imagine they think that their customers are too stupid to notice the plastic tone of authorized statements (which are also one-way communications and which are therefore largely ignored). Think about it. The solution is to allow the staff to blog freely…

Sometimes it is just not possible to get on with what you want to do because dealing with life’s distractions gets in the way. For example, this week I have done no writing on the book so far because, among other things, I have been figuring out how to approach literary agents. It is important in one sense, but it gets in the way of my current goal of writing too.

I call this kind of thing ‘fly swatting.’ Survival has to be dealt with, but it is in a sense an unimportant side-issue. What counts is not what we do to survive so much as what we can do that ‘adds value’ to life: the real business of life. All animals survive for their allotted span if all is reasonably well. Humans have the chance to do a little bit more. That little bit more is what makes a difference in the world.

Sometimes, some of the ‘flies’ can be more like hornets, but still they need to be swatted or, at worst, endured. And, like buses, they are perfectly capable of coming in threes! C’est la vie!

Well… no writing so far. It is not that I have not felt like writing: instead, it is that I have felt like not writing. Is that the same thing? Normally, not feeling like writing I see as a non-feeling, so I just sit down and write. Today, I positively did not want to write. So, I suppose it is different.

However, maybe it is not so simple. I am aware - or I believe - that sometimes things need to be left alone for a time to allow the subconscious mind to do a bit of long-term processing on the data, separate from the conscious mind. Well, maybe that is it.

However… I notice a feeling too. A slightly daunted feeling. Now that feeling has ‘procrastination’ written all over it.

You see, I have planned out the next scene, playing the people’s actions and the main protagonist’s thoughts out in my head like I’m there, but instead of wanting to write it out quickly like last time to see it working, this time there’s a feeling of, “let’s not bother,” or “it seems like so much to do,” or something along these lines: I already know it will work. So now the idea is that since I know how it goes, why go to all the effort of writing it? These ideas look to me like my verbal mind playing tricks on me. The old inner demon working against me instead of for me, as per Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Voice Of Knowledge.

Old habits die hard, don’t they? :-)

OK, I will allow it to pass today. But two days in a row would definitely be procrastination, and that is not going to happen. The inner voice will need to find another excuse for tomorrow. I know from experience that that feeling - being rather daunted, tired, not wanting to bother - has been behind much procrastination in the past; but I am more alert to it these days.

The answer? Don’t think. Sit down and write.

However, today I will rest. I will procrastinate a little. All things have their place. A little leeway, a little sympathy with myself, a gentle pat on the head and a rest can go further than forcing myself against those impulses too strongly. To push too hard would be to invite a counter-reaction. I must enjoy what I am doing. Force is the opposite of that. So I will give myself a break today.

I didn’t get to do any writing yesterday as I was busy, out and about and all that. So, I did some today instead even though it is the weekend and even though I didn’t feel like it. However, ‘feeling like it’ isn’t what writing, or most any other task, is about. It is no use waiting until I am in some sort of ‘writing frame of mind’ to begin. Writing gets done by my sitting down at the keyboard and writing. The frame of mind is engendered by the habit of writing: it comes second, in other words. Begin, and the frame of mind will follow.

And indeed it did. Enough for me to manage about half a page today, anyway, which is quite good, in my opinion.

It is possible I can extend this ‘just do it’ kind of habit to other things too. Good habits are useful and worth cultivating as they make it easier to do what you want to do. Bad habits, such as procrastination, prevent you doing what you want to do. Don’t think about it. Begin it. Do it.

If you have read any of Carlos Castaneda’s books and wondered what the heck he was on about, then maybe Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” is for you. Subtitled “A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” it covers some of Castaneda’s ground, but in plain English. While Castaneda’s books are fascinating, he rambles a lot because he was learning at the time he wrote them. Ruiz instead gets right to the point and he clearly understands what he is talking about. In a nutshell, the book is about how to free your mind of negative, self-limiting thoughts and habits, using the ostensibly straightforward method of making four simple agreements with yourself. He says that what he is teaching is Toltec wisdom, that is, native American shamanism (Ruiz claims to be a nagual), but wherever it comes from, it makes a lot of sense to me. Indeed, I was gratified on reading it to discover that I already apply much of what he teaches: maybe I understood more of Castaneda’s books than I realized! Of course, I’m not rich yet, but I am much happier than I used to be, most of the time.

The four agreements, in summary, are these:

1. Be impeccable with your word: i.e., be honest with yourself and others and do not talk yourself or other people down;
2. Don’t take anything personally: when people ‘insult’ you or behave selfishly or foist their opinions on you, remember that it is not to do with you, it is to do with them: they have their own issues and viewpoints, which are not your problem. You do not need to worry about what they say or think;
3. Don’t make assumptions: before jumping to conclusions about what people mean by what they do or say, ask them. Go to great lengths to avoid any misunderstanding.
4. Always do your best: you can avoid much self-criticism when you can reply to yourself, “I did my best,” as long as you remember that your best will vary from time-to-time and you are prepared to forgive yourself for your weaknesses.

He also explains some of Casteneda’s other terminology, such as the dream of the second attention. But whether you have read Castaneda or not, read this book. It is one of those books that everybody should read and I am quite sure that it can change lives - for the better.

The Four Agreements: Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (Toltec Wisdom)

Actually, this desire to ‘be someone’ (referred to in my previous entry) is, I think, the common modern manifestation of the good old search for ‘meaning’ in one’s life. Modern corporations try to elicit passionate commitment to their brand values in their employees by providing a community to which their staff can belong, with accessible bosses, help and training programmes, prizes and so on… and of course, low wages, since once commitment is there, money becomes just that little bit less important to the staff (but not to the company’s shareholders or upper management). See this article about overwork, or Willing Slaves: How the Overwork Culture is Ruling Our Lives by Madeleine Bunting, a book about how people are encouraged to devote their lives to the company.

Me, I have experienced this kind of commitment to work in the past: I brainwashed myself into working hard for L’Arome, a multi-level perfume sales organization that was around a few years ago (now defunct) and worked really hard, moving up a couple of levels in the pyramid and more-or-less breaking even overall. Then, I went in to a computer venture with a couple of friends and worked hard for that too; we did all right for a while but the market became rather too difficult for us and we decided to quit before it got too late.

Right now, however, I am… minicabbing. Driving an MPV (Multi-Purpose Vehicle, or ‘People Carrier’). Commitment? I don’t think so. Where will I get any sense of belonging when I’m stuck in a car all day? The hours are long and the money isn’t so great either: if I can bank a couple of hundred pounds after 50-60 hours’ work, I’m doing OK, it seems. And for me, money has always been the key to my commitment: I worked hard in the past in the expectation of future financial rewards. I’m still waiting! :-)

The minicabbing feels to me like a sort of maintenance work: it will keep my finances ticking over while I think of something better, or until I can pay off my debts and then invest (there’s little point in investing while debts need to be paid). The cab money won’t pay the debts; that’s why I’m selling my house; but it will cover day-to-day expenses. And, I guess, that is the position that most people are in who are doing basic jobs for what is really not much money. They and I need to budget carefully, so that income always exceeds expenditure, no matter how low the income actually is.

And wouldn’t it be good one day if, finally, I could think of some job that I would actually like to do, and that would gain my commitment naturally and effortlessly, and which would in fact pay well?

It seems to me, thinking about this self-discipline thing some more, that although I am inclined to aspire to a life of leisure, in fact, such a life would not be good for me. What would be good for me would probably be a life of some leisure, with other time devoted to some big projects of some sort.

Otherwise, where would self-esteem come from, if all I’m doing with my life is loafing about? I may aspire to leisure, but I would also like to do something: to be someone as it is commonly known. This is the desire for fame that many people seem to have: the desire not to be an unknown nobody, but to be someone who makes a difference.

So effort is built-in to the human psyche.

Darn.

I’ve been reading Conversations of Socrates (Classics)
by Xenophon. In the Memoirs, Book 2 Chapter 1, he relates a story by Prodicus about how Heracles was deciding how to live his life: good or evil, basically, and Heracles met two women, Vice and Virtue. Vice described to him a life of ease and idleness, and Virtue a life of sweat and effort, but rewarded with great esteem and glory in the long run. You can read it here. The story starts about halfway through but the whole section is pertinent. This is similar to the Christian notion that the devil’s path is wide and easy, but the road to heaven is steep and narrow (Matthew 7:13-14), or as I like to think of it, the devil’s path is “Buy now, pay later,” whilst God’s path, i.e., the good path, is “Pay now, receive later” meaning make your effort or investment early to get the best results later. I mention all this because it is pertinent to the way I have lived my life so far. For various reasons I have been putting in not quite enough effort in most things for most of my life, and have as a result been gradually sliding down that slippery slope to eventual ruin; or so it seems to me. I haven’t actually got there yet, as my eyes have been open to it for a long, long, long time, but on the other hand I haven’t actually succeeded in solving the problem of how to act differently either.

Until recently.

I think! The key seems to me to be in my Diet & Fitness Page. For nearly two years now I have been gradually increasing my self-discipline and losing weight and exercising regularly. I have found myself a viable job with a minicab company that actually has enough work (at least in the Summer peak season - the rest of the time remains to be seen) and am further exercising my self-discipline by getting up at 3am to start by 4 each day, 5 days a week or more and indeed by going to bed by 7pm to maintain my fitness and alertness, and working around 12 hours each day (including meal breaks). My property is being sold and that should pay off the (stupendous) debts and leave me with some funds to invest (if it actually sells at some point… what an agonizingly slow process it is!). All this is raising my self-esteem, confidence, ability and indeed energy levels all round.

And all because I’m a type 2 diabetic and felt the need to do something about it: the slippery slope suddenly began to look rather too steep for comfort. Let that disease go too far and the physical consequences are truly terrible. So: a blessing in disguise? I guess so.

Well, Chapter 11 (version 1) of the sci-fi novel is done. Yesterday I started on a small painting. Should be finished in a few days, then I’ll try and figure out how to sell it, post it to the customer if any :-) and start thinking of what the next painting might be. I was reading “Consciousness” by Rita Carter yesterday, and discovered that scientists think that our brains can actually do some of the amazing things that so far only autistic savants and the occasional genius seem able to do, such as multiplying large numbers, recording scenes in detail, remembering and calculating timetables and so on. The difference with normal folk is that our brains have built-in filters to prevent the results of those computations reaching consciousness! So, when you look at some dodgy maths on the page, your brain will have computed the answer in a flash, but you’re not allowed to become aware of the answer!! It is thought that the filters are in place because your consciousness would quickly become overwhelmed by needless info: a person can only hold around 5 items in awareness simultaneously, and how many apes need to know the technical details when being chased down by a lion anyway? Consciousness seems to be needed for broader judgements. Still, ever since the invention of writing, and perhaps a bit before then, such abilities would have been pretty useful (if they could be switched on and off at will). However, that period of time is a tiny fraction of the time that our lineage has been in existence, so natural selection hasn’t had long enough to do anything much about it anyway. So for now, all that capability is being edited out of our awareness. Sigh.